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Best Raw Ever

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[16 Oct 2007|02:12pm]

best_before
I still say we bring this back...eventhough I'm not sure any of us watch Raw. The possibility of it becoming watchable again is coming if this Y2J thing works out. It's the most dramatic and exciting thing Vince McMahon has come up with in years, even I can't deny that.
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[22 May 2006|11:09pm]

normajeane
Sure, it's been a few weeks since BRE has been kickin', but honestly do you blame us? We sure don't! But this week is a brand new start so let's see if WWE can deliver even a smidgen of entertainment this week! Do you think they succeed? An even better question would be, can you believe people actually pay attention to storylines in that company?? So sit back and relax as we bring you!

the_most_continuity_raw_has_seen_ever!!!!Collapse )
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[01 May 2006|11:28am]

normajeane
[ mood | good ]

Coming off the heels of yet another PPV nobody cares about, Raw is coming to you live will all sorts of action! What promised to be a craptastic evening turned out to be a really flipping sweet one! The Spirit Squad as General Managers?? Oh no they di'int! What must Eric Bischoff think? Maybe we'll find out soon enough. Did anybody catch all of those mentions of him? I SURE DID! In other news, we here at BRE think we may have broken the code to May 19th! We are so on to you, Kane. Trish Stratus went and broke herself last night and the BRE crew held their breath, thinking the end of a great storyline had neared. Did it? Or didn't it?! Did anybody honestly believe Shelton Benjamin was going to win last night? Is Carlito finally coming to terms with his face-ness? Where's God? Are the Spirit Squad members going to end up with ALL of the belts on Raw? And just why is Joey Styles SO GOD DAMN AWESOME?!??! These questions and more to be answered on!

the_most_spirited_raw_ever!!!1Collapse )

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have no fear, BRE is here! [25 Apr 2006|02:44pm]

normajeane
[ mood | hungry ]

Welcome, everyone, to another FANASTIC Raw report as Raw comes to us live........taped from merry old England! So with all this talk of God as of late, could this mean the apocalypse is upon us?? With the gay jokes running rampant moreso than usual, some of us here at BRE really do have to wonder. This can only mean one thing, folks. Another absolutely boring Raw. But you know you watched anyway! In other news, Shane McMahon just might be having the best raw ever! We love Shane McMahon! Or some of us do. Or one of us does. But he sure is gosh darn entertaining, dontcha think? Even if he did have to kiss his dad's ass. But we're not the ones who have to kiss him every night! Speaking of entertaining, we LOVE Mickie and Trish. Will WWE writers keep up these zany antics? Will Shelton's momma ever resurface? What the hell does Charlie Haas look like?! No, really. I want to know. I didn't watch last week. Are you so excited? That you just can't hide it? And is Christian really the best champion we've ever had?? Oh...wait. Wrong brand. So tune in! To find the answers to these questions and more! On...
the_most_mrs_chubbs_is_my_homeboy_raw_eva!1Collapse )

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[17 Apr 2006|11:20pm]

normajeane
[ mood | excited ]

So after a really...long time of not updating, best_raw_ever is finally back on the map! You can all breathe a sigh of relief and thank God for answering your prayers. Speaking of God! Is that you, God, creeping around Raw? Or is HBK turning a new leaf and becoming a Scientologist? Mickie and Trish rule. Why? Because I said so. Who's that coming to kick Shelton's ass?? His momma?? No, I don't think she's that white! Too bad I, myself, am unable to watch Raw live so this recap is sure to be a doosy! Luckily, we have the help of two adorable tykes on hand this evening known as Heather's nephews who are sure to be the future of BRE. Can they deliver the goods under pressure? Will Vince brainwash them like he has everybody else? These questions and more to be answered on!
the_most_frickin_awesome_and_sacreligious_raw_ever!!!!!1Collapse )

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[28 Mar 2006|01:08am]

normajeane
[ mood | restless ]

Due to forces beyond our control, aka a shitty Raw that sucked the life force right out of us, there will not be a Raw report this week. Sorry to disappoint, folks. But look for us next week, after what's sure to be a SPECTACULAR Wrestlemania.

And this is also a reminder that alcohol and Raw don't always mix. Drink responsibly. Or not at all.

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[13 Mar 2006|11:25pm]

normajeane
[ mood | tired ]

You may have shown us how you get guys to sleep with you last week, Stephanie McMahon, but somebody else is having the best raw ever this week! Want to know how to get rid of those pesky old stains you find on your carpet or clothes? Well look no further than tonight! Or maybe you'll just learn how to make them worse. So HBK is subjected to humiliation by the hands of Vince McMahon, who is gunning for next year's Oscars, but will he get the upper hand? Poor Shelton is on his own this week as he reports that Momma's out having surgery. Is it the left breast or the right? Hold on, partners...we've got a cowboy on the loose. Are those signs that you're finally turning heel, Alexis? Is Shane McMahon not telling us something about his sexual orientation? And what the fuck, Carlito, your hair?! Tune in to find the answers to these questions and more! As we bring you...

the_most_yeehaw_knee_slapping_pissed_on_thunder_thighs_raw_ever!!Collapse )

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[07 Mar 2006|06:12pm]

normajeane
[ mood | hungry ]

You may have thought all the hardcore action took place at the Oscars this weekend but, boy, sir, you were mistaken! Coming off of last week's eye gauging Raw, we find ourselves one wrestler short! After just joining the company Marty Jannetty is now MIA! Just who is the master behind this amazing disappearing act?? The answer will surprise you! In other news, Shelton Benjamin STILL has his belt, but could tonight be the end of his illustrious streak? Will Lita's breasts explode? Who's slacking in the production department? Is there hope that Shane has bigger balls than Stephanie? And why is everybody watching 24?!?!? These questions and more to be answered on...

the_jack_baur_is_our_homeboy_raw_ever!!1Collapse )

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HOLLA [27 Feb 2006|11:24pm]

normajeane
[ mood | accomplished ]

Guess who's back???? Well, actually I was back last week but I'm taking over the reigns of BRE this week! I'm sure you've all missed me and if not, well screw you, Melon! So last week Marty Jannetty made a shocking return to the wrestling world only to be faced with a HUGE dilemma at the end of Raw. Will he kiss Vince McMahon's ass for a job this week?? Sure, it beats sucking his dick live on camera but this is a tough decision in any young wrestler's life. So tonight, we find out if Marty takes the plunge or just says no to crack. In other news, Mickie is still psycho, Cena is more popular than ever, HBK makes a strange fashion choice, Carlito makes up a tournament that I completely miss, and Black History Month is almost over! So how much longer will Shelton have the IC belt for?? And with Wrestlemania just around the corner you just never know what's going to happen on Raw. So tune in and see what hilarity ensues this week on...

the_most_blinding_raw_ever!11Collapse )

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[27 Feb 2006|07:55pm]

best_before
Well, so yeah. It's exactly a week late. GET OVER IT I AM LAZY. Hopefully this weeks won't take as long. I have no fancy intro so we'll just get right to it. I'm only posting it so Mark can see what he missed...bastard. And doody too.

Nobody had the best_raw_ever. Maybe MartyCollapse )
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[17 Feb 2006|04:34pm]

senatorpants
Welcome once again to the best_raw_ever, the only Raw recap you can read from start to finish without boring yourself to tears. Raw was delayed this week thanks to the_best_dog_show_ever taking over on Monday. Big shoutout to my boy Rufus! We almost got off to a rocky start when a lot of people didn’t show up, but luckily three cool guys decided to take over nWo style and keep the ship from sinking. So we’re doing things my way this week! Anyway, other people joined a few minutes later and everything was back to normal, or abnormal, depending on your definition of normal. As for Raw, there were many questions to be answered as always. Most importantly, would it be a good show this week? HA! What’s up with HHH wrestling in the first match? Is Momma alive after last week’s tragic turn of events? Where the hell was Carlito? No one knows. Will Bret Hart really show up at the hall of fame ceremony and/or Raw? What will be his mode of transportation? Would we see the return of Shawn Michaels’ buddy after his extended vacation or would Vince McMahon embarrass HBK and have the best raw ever two straight weeks? Just who did have the best raw ever? The answer may surprise you. In other news, the number of Lita insults rose to an astronomical level. Just how many can be contained in a two hour show? Are the rumors true that I, Mark, have seen the light and turned against her like everyone wants me to do? Finally, exactly what day is it anyway? That’s a lot of questions! We attempt to answer all these and more as nothing is held back, not even Shelton, in this special, often graphic, edition known as…

the_best_best_raw_ever_everCollapse )
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We'll see you Thursday. Probably. [15 Feb 2006|03:52pm]

best_before
So Raw was preempted for the event that used to haunt our dreams when we were really into wrestling. THE DOG SHOW. Now we've sort of accepted it, and in fact was it possible that we were more entertained by a colored bull terrier than we are by the majority of the stars on Raw? Would this terrier beat who we deemed his nemesis COCO (aka the HHH of Dog shows?) or would our love go unnoticed. Find out this and more. Also - you may have won in your group and the crowd over Old English Sheepdog, but guess who's having the best dog show ever?!

best_dog_show_everCollapse )
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[07 Feb 2006|12:10am]

best_before
So welcome to my pretty much first time posting in the BRE community with the BRE post. SOrry guys, Karen's gonna be gone for awhile. We will all miss her and cherish her memory until her triumphant return. In fact, we beg for it. It looked like it'd be just me and Mark tonight but he brought us a new friend. SO here we go folks! What will happen tonight?! Will the REALLY RANDOM CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNEY actually be random? Will it even be entertaining? Will Jesus save HBK from the devil aka Vince McMahon? Will there be any Carlito swooning without Karen here? And - you might be the newest Best_Raw_Ever participant, FlexHolly, But who's having the best Raw ever?!

the_most surprising_turn_of_events_raw_everCollapse )
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Raw is in the air [30 Jan 2006|11:41pm]

normajeane
[ mood | accomplished ]

Coming off the heels of last night's Royal Rumble PPV which ended up really pissing off some of us here at BRE (see: Heather's latest community post), it is sure to be a hot Raw tonight! Will it actually be, though?? Ehhh, most likely not. The questions that are certainly burning deep inside of us, though, I'm sure are also burning deep inside you. Will Edge be out for blood? Is Trish finally going to beat the crap out of Alexis/Mickie?? Does Shelton end up winning a match? Or better yet...does he even wrestle tonight?? Does anybody know who has the IC Title?!?! Will Shawn Michaels get back at Vince Mcmahon? Better yet, will Shane actually show up on tv for once? Is Chris Masters going to get back at Carlito? And just how many times will Eddy be mentioned? These questions and a whole lot more! Plus! Even though you may have come in 2nd at the Royal Rumble, HHH, losing out to a midget from Smackdown, one of these people is actually having the BEST RAW EVER! Will it be...Vince Mcmahon? Shelton Benjamin? Eddy Guerrerro? Edge? Shane McMahon? or Rick? Tune in and find out as we bring to you!

the_deadest_raw_ever!!1Collapse )

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Why why why [30 Jan 2006|04:30pm]

best_before
Well hasn't this been a crazy two days. First the Rumble and then me failing a Biblical Literature test I didn't know I had. This can only be the work of the evil higher power who SHALL BE REVEALED IN...the next words after these. Vince McMahon! And his collective posse. Throw them all in there. Karen and I may have some respect for both Shane and Stephanie (and absolutely none for HHH), but they all seem to be making, or at least approving, some pretty ridiculous situations for we wrestling fans. I mean, everything that happened at the Rumble last night made little to no sense and does almost nothing to further any angles in the right direction. I may not have watched the Rumble, but I have seen almost every single one with the exception of maybe...one for the past 12 years. I'M A VERY DEDICATED RUMBLE FAN. I've even been disappointed for every one since Shawn Michaels won as a face in 1996. Maybe a few were worth watching but it was a rare occurrence. I still think I'm sort of hoping for some miracle return to the days when things were exciting, unpredictable, and goddamnit just plain fun.

You'll have to forgive me for not having the entire results in front of me, but I'll give a quick run down of what I remember and things that don't make any sense to me. Bear with me, I've been bitter for years now.

look I'm being nice and cutting it in case people other than the ones I KNOW didn't read it, read it and didn't want spoilers. BELOW THE CUT CONTAINS SPOILERS BITCHESCollapse )

I didn't realize I'd written so long. I'll be back to edit in title matches within the next few hours. Keep up, I'm angry with those too. Really angry. And guess what. One of them involves the champ who lost. THAT'S RIGHT. I'M ACTUALLY ANGRY ABOUT IT.

Edit: Have you any of you ever read Gulliver's Travels? I was really not that into it when we started reading it and I won't lie and say I've read the whole thing, but now I'm pretty interested. I'm going to sit down and read it within the next week. I bring it up because it makes interesting points regarding two different types of species. Yahoos and Houyhnhnms, man. It reminds me of all the newer crazy fans watching WWE who just do it because they think it's cool and also some of the newer wrestlers. They'd be the Yahoos and the McMahons would be the Houyhnhnms. The prideful horses who think they're all that and better than any other species on the planet yet lack any imagination and thought outside their own thinking. I guess someone like HBK or HHH would be Gulliver. Someone who used to be an all right guy but was inevitably corrupted by the Houyhnhnms and now thinks himself way better than he ever actually was.

Continuing on before science.

in which we discuss the jokes of championship matchesCollapse )

FINALLY FINISHED with most of what I wanted to say. It's too long and probably only Blu skimmed it but that's all right with me. I had to get it doesn. After only about 6 hours. GO ME. But not go WWE.

Hey, I'm still watching Raw tonight. Which is as sad as ever. We're looking at Rey coming in from Smackdown. Woopity doo.
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You know what time it is [23 Jan 2006|11:33pm]

normajeane
[ mood | sleepy ]

Tonight on best_raw_ever we come to you LIVE from Charlotte, North Carolina where Edge and Cena will go face to face with mystery tag partners in tow! But just who will Edge's partner be since obviously Flair will be Cena's? Nobody knows and clearly neither does Edge! But what we do know is that we see way too damn much of Lita's horrific acting. In other news, Shelton's been doing what no other black man has done before: winning his matches! Thanks to the ever loving care of his momma. Will that streak continue tonight? Will Alexis throw another fit over Ashley? Will Joey Styles resist the urge to not call a match? Plus, tonight also marks the return of our beloved Lil whom, I'm sure, you have all dear ly missed. Will she regret coming back or accept Raw with open arms?? These questions and more to be answered on...

the_most_un_oscar_worthy_raw_ever!!Collapse )

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[17 Jan 2006|02:51am]

best_before
SWIET 734 [2:42 AM]: oh yeah I forgot.... I think I saw a BRE sign on raw!
QLili613 [2:42 AM]: WHAT
SWIET 734 [2:43 AM]: I swear it said BRE! I think haha
QLili613 [2:43 AM]: wtf
SWIET 734 [2:43 AM]: during the first match
QLili613 [2:43 AM]: DUDE
QLili613 [2:43 AM]: THEY ARE STEALING OUR THUNDER
SWIET 734 [2:43 AM]: I wish I could see it again... I'm almost sure of it
SWIET 734 [2:44 AM]: or maybe it had some word starting with BRE but the rest was covered up but I thought that was all it said on the sign.... I dunno maybe I'm retarded
SWIET 734 [2:45 AM]: maybe it's someone who discovered your livejournal and is advertising lol
QLili613 [2:48 AM]: ahhaah oh man

Thank you to our wonderful fans...I have no doubt in my mind that it was someone reading here advertising us. WHO WOULDN'T? I refuse to believe otherwise all right.

Next week will be a huge Best Raw Ever if I have any say in it. I'll be returning pretty much full time to the table. WOO. I still stress that if anybody reading, though not many of you seem to be commentating on the brilliance i've been missing out on, wants to join in the chats that's cool. Just let someone know. We're always open for mocking newbies.

- Lil
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changchang! [09 Jan 2006|11:18pm]

normajeane
[ mood | accomplished ]

Well, folks! Coming off a PPV from last night that, again, I didn't know occured Raw's coming atcha LIVE from Hershey, PA! So if you don't know by now then OH WELL SUCKS TO BE YOU now you do. Edge is the new champ and WWE actually pulled off a swerve imagine that! I am mourning that it wasn't Carlito. :'( And so! What will be the aftermath that occurs tonight?? One can only wonder but unfortunately it involves sex and not with anybody you'd want to see having sex DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YA! On top of that, is Trish or Alexis ever going to turn heel??? Does Shelton's momma make sure Shelton eats his chunky soup? Will anybody really care about Kane? Well...we know that one dude will. These questions and more to be answered on...

the_most_skinemax_ripoff_raw_ever!!1Collapse )

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I'm sorry, 2004 [02 Jan 2006|11:11pm]

normajeane
[ mood | sleepy ]

Due to the holidays best_raw_ever took a bit of a hiatus. But since it's a brand new year and Heather actually has off from work tonight I'm here to tell you that we won't be disappointing you yet another week by denying a wonderful Raw review! Doesn't that make you so happy??!?! Boy, I sure am!

So tonight is sure to be a big night, ladies and gentleman! It's the first Raw of 2006!! and, by god, it's sure to be chock full of action. Or most likely not because, really, this is WWE. Don't be ridiculous! But we do have one thing to look forward to, folks. THE DEBUT OF SHELTON'S MOMMA. That and a First Blood match between Cena and Angle prompting a very special visit from Cena's #1 man, Rick! So sit back, relax, and get ready for....

the_most_we'd_rather_be_watching_christian_raw_ever!!Collapse )

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[12 Dec 2005|11:19pm]

normajeane
[ mood | sleepy ]

While Christian was actually winning a match in some other part of the country, Jesus was making a comeback in 2006. But really, did he ever leave to begin with? Unfortunately not. This week, we've been promised a new General Manager since Eric Bischoff was "fired" last week, and I'm still mourning over that, folks. It also marks a very special Raw where Heather comes to us live, via text messasing since she's unable to join us tonight and boy, you can bet her face is painted yellow with envy that she missed tonight's show.

And I bet Heather's just dying to know who the new GM is! Who could the new General Manager be, you wonder?? Rumor has it the American Dream is to take over and cause thousands of WWE fans to stare blankly at their tvs, boggled, saying "...who??" But will it be Dusty Rhodes who wins the coveted GM spot? Will Shelton FINALLY win a match? How many times will HBK plug his book o' lies? And how many times will I ogle over Carlito?? These questions and more coming at ya on...

the_unfortunately_most_jesus_loving_raw_ever!!Collapse )

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